100 Words or Less: January 7, 2010

. Spider-Man 4 is being postponed indefinitely, while a battle rages over plot details.  Director Sam Raimi wants it one way and Sony wants it to suck. 

. It’s official: Sean Penn will play “Larry” in a new 3 Stooges movie.  It’ll be his first comedy role since… uh…

Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise together again!  This time, bringing to life The Hardy Boys.  er… Hardy Men.  Crap.  Now the only thing from my childhood that hasn’t been raped or plundered by Hollywood is my kid brother’s Sock Monkey.  Hands off Binkey, A**holes!


100 Words or Less: January 4, 2010

. Kate Gosselin may star in her own Bachelorette-style dating show.  Interesting idea, but “Who Wants To Marry the Hateful, Overbearing Nag With Eight Kids From a Previous Failed Marriage” really seems like an unwieldy title.

. Holiday Weekend returns put “Avatar” in the top box office spot with $68.3 million (over a billion worldwide).  “Sherlock Holmes” squeaked past “Alvin and the Chipmunks” for second with $38.4, while the rodent comedy did $36.6 million over the weekend.

100 Words or Less: Dec 31, 2009

. Mr. T will not be making a cameo in the upcoming A-Team movie.   He says it “wouldn’t be right” to not have a starring role.  Just slip something in his milk; he’ll be fine.

. 11 million viewers tuned in to see “Two and a Half Men” Monday night, making it the evening’s highest-rated show.  Of course, we were disappointed when Charlie Sheen failed to pull a knife on Jon Cryer.

Last Comic Standing is coming back

. Rush Limbaugh is resting comfortably in the hospital after reporting chest pains.  If he has to give up cigars, he’s gonna be really cranky.

100 Words or Less: Dec. 30, 2009

. Rumors abound that there may be a Tiger Woods movie in the works.  I knew it was coming: news of scandal in the Woods home had Hollywood drooling like Tiger at a Hooters.  This proposed epic would star Cuba Gooding, Jr as the golfer and Mary-Kate Olsen as his 9-iron.

. Zelda Rubinstein, the diminuative “Poltergeist” psychic with the creepy voice, was taken off  life support  after her lungs and kidneys failed.  Go rent “Poltergeist” or watch “Scariest Places On Earth” in her honor.  You know you want to.

100 Words or Less: Dec. 29

. Tyra Banks is ending her talk show and forming a new production studio.  Presumably her movies will also be pretty much all about Tyra Banks.

. The most illegally downloaded movie of the year: Star Trek.  Then Tranformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, The Hangover, Twilight, Harry Potter And The Half-blood Prince and X-men Origins: Wolverine.  ‘Cuz nothing beats being able to watch a movie recorded via handycam by some obnoxious fat guy.

. Time Magazine released their Top 10 Everything.  Top album: Brad Paisley’s ‘American Saturday Night.”  Top Movie: The Princess and the Frog.  Top story nobody actually cares about: The rest of the list.