MediaJerk

Conan to TBS

Jeff Conolly — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 02:15:48 +0000

So Conan has a new home now come November, and it’s TBS.

The school of thoughts are basically divided into two camps: 1.) OMG This is the best thing ever for him! and 2.) Now Conan is slumming.

But what many fail to realize is the single thing that makes the TBS deal the better option is thus: that Conan’s company Conaco will own the show, outright. And owning the show means determining distribution, and distribution means power.

Who will decide whether or not episodes will be available on places like Hulu, Fancast, Xbox Live, and PSN? Conan and now only Conan.

Let’s face it, every day more people that give two craps about the term “network tv” die out, and more fans that will watch things on demand are born. Controlling media distribution won’t just put more money in Conan’s pocket today (which it will), it will position his show to make a lot more in the future.

Conan will do well on TBS, and will do great things for the network. But in the wild wild west of new media, he is going to do even better for himself.

For more Jeff visit JeffreyConolly.com

Tim and Jeff Ep2.5: AWESOMEtar or Avatarded

Jeff Conolly — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:30:51 +0000

TIM AND JEFF talk in this podcast about Avatar, whether or not it deserves all this hype, whether or not one set of poultry ta tas makes Howard the Duck a bad movie, and if Dirty Jobs is indeed the coolest show ever. DOWNLOAD THE MP3!! Or visit the podcast’s homepage at www.timandjeff.com

100 Words or Less: January 7, 2010

Randy Streu — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:23:36 +0000

. Spider-Man 4 is being postponed indefinitely, while a battle rages over plot details. Director Sam Raimi wants it one way and Sony wants it to suck.

. It’s official: Sean Penn will play “Larry” in a new 3 Stooges movie. It’ll be his first comedy role since… uh…

. Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise together again! This time, bringing to life The Hardy Boys. er… Hardy Men. Crap. Now the only thing from my childhood that hasn’t been raped or plundered by Hollywood is my kid brother’s Sock Monkey. Hands off Binkey, A**holes!

Jeff the Great’s Top Ten

Jeff Conolly — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:56:36 +0000

Sitting and reflecting about this decade was tough. I was thirteen when it started, so a lot of the films that I thought were amazing didn’t really stand up now a decade later. But I plowed through tons of flicks (much to the dismay of my wife) and present to you JEFF THE GREAT’S TOP TEN FILMS OF THE DECADE!!!!!

#10. Matrix Revolutions

People loved the Matrix. People hate the sequels. I see there point with the second film, as it basically did nothing but place the chess pieces for the third, but people seem to throw this one in the mix, but I LOVE it. Messianic symbolism, awesome fight scenes, and an all in all redeeming ending, it easily makes my top ten.

#9. Spirited Away

This decade was like an animated golden age with the brilliant films by Pixar seeming to set the standard every time, but this non Pixar film out shines them all. With brilliant visuals and storytelling Spirited Away is the crowning animated achievement of the decade.

#8. Almost Famous

This 2000 film seemed to launch the concept that there can be such a thing as a nerdy awkward protagonist, paving the way for people like Michael Cera to have a career. This compelling story still sticks with me today, the airplane scene still brings tears to me eyes (of laughter), and it easily carves a place on my top ten.

#7. Little Miss Sunshine

God I love this movie. It perfectly strikes that line between too dark to laugh at without feeling guilty and too light to take seriously. Steve Carrel gives his performance of the decade as a suicidal homosexual professor. The grandpa is an out spoken, coke snorting lunatic, and the dad is a failed “Self Help” book author. It is amazing and should not be missed.

#6. Superbad

Every once in a while, you get one of those films that seems have ripped a page from your childhood, and this film does EXACTLY that for me. It’s rude, it’s crude, but it’s genius. Jonah Hill is somehow hilarious, even though they portray that his character tries too hard to be funny (like some high school guys *cough* do) but they pull this off without annoying the audience. McLovin is unforgettable. The fact that Seth Rogen wrote this in high school might be why it is so sincere, which is, overall, its most endearing quality.

#5. Casino Royale

I’m a huge Bond fan. A HUGE Bond fan. When Goldeneye was released in ’95 everyone was excited. Peirce Brosnan was a kick-ass Bond (although a watermelon in a suit could have beat Dalton) and Goldeneye kicked ass. Then every subsequent movie sucked. I still wasn’t sure what a reboot was or why they should do them when I stepped into the theater, but when I stepped out I understood exactly why. This movie was AWESOME. The sequel sucked though. Whatcha gonna do?

#4. Juno

This movie still manages to make me both laugh and cry every time I watch it, which is the true mark of a great film. People knock it for sounding less real and more like a million stand up comics are dealing with the situations, but I think this really strikes the balance, unlike Diablo’s *cough* later films. It’s smart, funny, warms your heart, and ultimately changes you as a person, just for watching it.

#3. Watchmen

This is the Citizen Kane of comic book movies. It’s brilliant, beautiful, striking, and does for super hero movies what the comic book did for super hero comics. It was faithful when it should be faithful. It deviated when it should have deviated. It was simply a brilliant film.

#2. The Lord of the Rings

This seems more like one complete film to me, rather than three separate ones. It is perhaps the greatest adaptation of all time. Tolkien fans waited for years for a faithful cinematic adaptation and Peter Jackson did not disappoint. These films are timeless and amazing, and will be one of those that will still be watched and analyzed 50 years from now. They are that good.

#1. The Dark Knght

This is one of the greatest films of all time. Heath Ledger was brilliant as the Joker. His performance alone would have placed the film on this list, but its the movie’s all around package that makes it number one. The story is dark but compelling. Batman is the plagued individual we remember from the comics. Chicago is shot beautifully and believably as Gotham City. This movie should have won best picture, let alone not get a complete nomination snub. It’s not only the greatest film of the decade, it’s one of the greatest of all time.

If you want to check out my video review of the ten shittiest movies of the decade, you can do that here.

Now, if you excuse me, I think I’m going to go wach The Dark Knight again.

100 Words or Less: January 4, 2010

Randy Streu — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 12:01:19 +0000

. Kate Gosselin may star in her own Bachelorette-style dating show. Interesting idea, but “Who Wants To Marry the Hateful, Overbearing Nag With Eight Kids From a Previous Failed Marriage” really seems like an unwieldy title.

. Holiday Weekend returns put “Avatar” in the top box office spot with $68.3 million (over a billion worldwide). “Sherlock Holmes” squeaked past “Alvin and the Chipmunks” for second with $38.4, while the rodent comedy did $36.6 million over the weekend.

100 Words or Less: Dec 31, 2009

Randy Streu — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:00:42 +0000

. Mr. T will not be making a cameo in the upcoming A-Team movie. He says it “wouldn’t be right” to not have a starring role. Just slip something in his milk; he’ll be fine.

. 11 million viewers tuned in to see “Two and a Half Men” Monday night, making it the evening’s highest-rated show. Of course, we were disappointed when Charlie Sheen failed to pull a knife on Jon Cryer.

. Last Comic Standing is coming back!

. Rush Limbaugh is resting comfortably in the hospital after reporting chest pains. If he has to give up cigars, he’s gonna be really cranky.

100 Words or Less: Dec. 30, 2009

Randy Streu — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:36:51 +0000

. Rumors abound that there may be a Tiger Woods movie in the works. I knew it was coming: news of scandal in the Woods home had Hollywood drooling like Tiger at a Hooters. This proposed epic would star Cuba Gooding, Jr as the golfer and Mary-Kate Olsen as his 9-iron.

. Zelda Rubinstein, the diminuative “Poltergeist” psychic with the creepy voice, was taken off life support after her lungs and kidneys failed. Go rent “Poltergeist” or watch “Scariest Places On Earth” in her honor. You know you want to.

Sit down. We need to talk.

Jen Ambrose — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 23:16:00 +0000

There is an episode of How I Met Your Mother where the gang starts having interventions for each other. They have interventions for Marshall’s silly Suess hat, Lilly’s terrible Cockney accent, Robin’s excessive spray on tanning, and Barney’s pyrotechnic magic tricks. Finally, they have an intervention on interventions. (“We’re having too many interventions”, Ted intones.)

Well, I think that I may need to have an intervention on the show Intervention. This show is horribly addictive in a supremely ironic way.

But as a true addict, I must defend (and justify!) my addiction. Here are five reasons why you should set a season pass for the awesomeness that is Intervention:

Watching the psychological trainwreck of an addict’s downward spiral is something that once you start watching, you can not peel your eyes away from. Let’s face it, we all have Issues. Most of us are even medicated for them. But these folks? They have the perfect storm: Issues + Biological Predetermination for Addiction + Lack of Coping Skills + Family Craziness (more on that later = Addiction Chaos.
Who doesn’t love to root for the underdog? You watch every episode praying, hoping that they make it. That they choose the treatment. That they successfully complete treatment and stay sober and beat the disease. That everything works out okay in the end and they are able to beat this awful crazy thing.
Like life, reality doesn’t always have happy endings. Sometimes, they don’t make it. This would never happen in the scripted TV world. You never know if the happy ending is coming or not. You are on the edge of your seat to see how it all turns out. And when they relapse? You may or may not literally groan out load. As tsk at your disappointment.
Families. Full of love, but also: the crazy. Okay, if you have a crazy family? WATCH THIS SHOW. It will make you feel so much better. Trust me on this one. There is always Drama. Always. But also? They enabling behavior that they all display is so clear to everyone but themselves. CRAZY, I tell you. And so much fun to watch.
It will make you appreciate your life even more. You will go throughout your day the next day marveling at things like how good it feels to say, take showers, and pay your bills, and live in an actual house. You will fully appreciate things like food and friends and family. You will see things in a whole different light.

So, Intervention on A&E. Something you probably aren’t watching. But you totally should.

The Decade’s Top 10 WTF!? Remake Moments

Randy Streu — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:39:01 +0000

Nothing says “Hey, we’re running out of ideas” like Hollywood’s run of remakes. In the past decade, Hollywood honchos have been guilty of serial plagiarism that would make Richard Ridyard blush. And I’m not even talking about the theft of foreign movies like “Taxi,” “Quarantine,” “Vanilla Sky” or the onslaught of Americanized J-horror. These are just remakes of movies that, frankly, needed to be left alone but, inexplicably, weren’t. In no particular order:

Day of the Dead – While the “Dawn” remake was actually pretty awesome (among my favorites, actually), “Day” just sucked. Hard. In the remake mythology, evidently dying not only turns you into a flesh-eating zombie, but also turns you into freakin’ Spider Man, giving you the superhuman ability to jump twice your own height and climb walls. Yeah.

Planet of the Apes - I like Tim Burton. But honestly, I just don’t buy Marky Mark as an astronaut. Or as… pretty much anything. He can’t act, unless by “acting,” you mean, “talks woodenly and stares severely into the camera.” There. I said it.

Carrie – Remember when they did a TV movie (or was it a miniseries) of Stephen King’s “The Shining,” starring the slacker brother from “Wings” as Jack Nicholson? Yeah. Technically speaking, probably closer to the original novel. But going made-for-TV was just a crappy idea.

Journey To The Center Of The Earth – follows an interesting formula: take an interesting idea, beef it up with quadrillion-dollar special effects, add Brendan Fraser. This thing smelled strongly of suck before the cameras even rolled.

Willard - The 1971 original made Michael Jackson seem creepy even before the plastic surgery and questionable sleeping arrangements. The new one had the dad from “Back To The Future.”

The Fog – I was really looking forward to this one. Then they added the whiny chick from “Lost,” removed everything that was remotely scary and turned it pretty much into “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” but without the Scooby Doo ending. It made me sad.

Rollerball - Remaking a movie about an ultra-violent sport as society moves closer to crossing the line between entertainment and sadism? Good idea. Replacing James Caan with … pretty much any of the douches from ”American Pie?” Somebody deserves to be smacked. And then tossed in a pit and beaten to death with whiffle bats while America watches.

Karate Kid – Will Smith’s kid as Daniel-san and Jackie Chan as Miyagi. Okay, Chan might actually work. But still… this and “My Cousin Vinnie” are pretty much Ralph Macchio’s only legacy. Why take that away?

Footloose - Really? I mean… really?

Red Dawn – Damn you, Hollywood. Leave my Cold War, pro-American, awesome-infused propoganda alone.

These last represent a stream of ’80s remakes that is getting so bad, I remember distinctly being grateful that John Hughes was still alive to keep Hollywood’s grubby hands off his stuff.

Then John Hughes died.

We’re screwed.

Look for “Pretty in Pink” with that goofy kid from “Zombieland” as “Ducky.” Just wait.

100 Words or Less: Dec. 29

Randy Streu — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:37:48 +0000

. Tyra Banks is ending her talk show and forming a new production studio. Presumably her movies will also be pretty much all about Tyra Banks.

. The most illegally downloaded movie of the year: Star Trek. Then Tranformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, The Hangover, Twilight, Harry Potter And The Half-blood Prince and X-men Origins: Wolverine. ‘Cuz nothing beats being able to watch a movie recorded via handycam by some obnoxious fat guy.

. Time Magazine released their Top 10 Everything. Top album: Brad Paisley’s ‘American Saturday Night.” Top Movie: The Princess and the Frog. Top story nobody actually cares about: The rest of the list.