Another Zombie Flick (that I’m gonna have to see)?

Sony Pictures has an answer, it seems, to George A. Romero’s “Diary of the Dead.”  “Quarantine” follows a TV news reporter (Jennifer Carpenter) embedded with a local fire unit.  They are called to assist at an apartment building, and find police already there, answering a call about screams coming from one of the apartments.  Before the news team can leave, hey discover that the building has been quarantined to contain an unknown virus, which has hit some members of the community, causing them to attack people. 

When the quarantine is lifted, in a moment that is more “Blair Witch” than you’d expect coming from a major motion picture house, rescuers cannot find any resident, and the only evidence left is the tape from the reporter and her camera man.  It’s like “The Blair Witch Project” meets “Night of the Living Dead.”  In other words, it’s a great deal like “Diary of the Dead,” it would seem, only in an apartment building.

But, in the spirit of “just because it’s derivitive doesn’t mean it will suck,” I’m actually looking forward to seeing what they do with this.  (You may remember a certain guilty pleasure I’ve mentioned in the past, regarding zombie flicks.)  Anyway, here’s the trailer.  It’s pretty vague, plotwise, but, damn, can Jennifer Carpenter scream.  Enjoy.

My New Favorite People

Okay, I admit it: I have a bit of an anarchist streak.  I get a peculiar joy out of people causing random chaos.  Rush Limbaugh’s Operation Chaos amuses the hell out of me, for example.  An Englishman who dressed up in gold lame’, wore a mask, and called himslef the Angle Grinder Man will forever be one of my favorite real-life superheros.  And, the second I learned about Flash Mobbing, I wanted to be part of one.  But there stands a group now who takes the simple flash mob and elevates it to an art form.  That group is Improv Everywhere.

This group sets up “missions” in public places in which they do some performance piece, slightly disrupting and altering the days of those who witness it.  The first of theirs I saw was the by now well-known Grand Central Station freeze:

 

And among their latest is a totally out-of-nowhere musical performed by people who had, until they started singing, seemed like normal mall workers and patrons. 

 

Sheer brilliance.
(h/t to rifftrax for showcasing the musical)

Obligitory American “Idle” Post for 2008

Okay, first a quick lesson in honesty and political correctness.  This is what happens when Truth is traded for self-esteem:

Look…. I know it might sting, but if your friend really sucks, don’t tell him he sounds like a younger, hipper Frank Sinatra.

Having said that, I’ve decided to throw my hat in the ring, not as the next American Idol, but as the next Simon.  The way I look at it, the guy can’t be long for this world.  You just can’t be forced to sit next to people with next-to no taste telling some snot-nosed reject from a drag choir that, yes, his rendition of Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” is exactly the sort of thing this competition needs – and not have serious heart problems.  I mean, no wonder the guy’s such a cranky bastard.

So, since Simon’s heart is bound to give out before too long, I would like to offer my services as the sarcastic and mean old man of the show, charged with the task of injecting at least a semblence of taste into the den of mediocrity that is American Idol. 

And so, as an audition of sorts, I have listed some of the kinds of things I could be expected to say to the horrendous auditioners that are both the plague of Simon and (coincidentally, of course) the only reasons I ever deign to watch the show:

“No, you can’t have another try.  Listening to you suck twice won’t make me change my mind.”

“If the worst thing I’ve ever heard before today is a 1, you’re a negative nine thousand eight.”

“Congratulations… your voice is officially the single worst sound on the planet.”

“Oh, your friends said you sound just like Mariah Carey?  And did these denizens of taste and culture happen to mention whether they were talking about before or after her trip into the bowels of hell?”

“I think you need better friends.  A real friend would do everything in his power to keep you off this show.”

“Have you ever seen one of those commercials where they ram a car at 45 mph into a brick wall?  You sound almost exactly like a bird being eaten by a cat being eaten by a dog being eaten by a hyena that failed to move out of the way of that car.”

“Say… did you ever perform in Jonestown?  Because that might explain a few things.”

And, finally, the ever popular, “What… the … hell … was that?”

And so, when Simon finally is driven to his grave by the vast amount of suck aimed in his general direction, I, Randy “R2″ Streu, humbly offer myself in his stead.

Guilty Pleasure I: Total Eclipse of the Heart

You may not expect a large, straight guy with a beard to admit this, but I love Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart.  I think it’s just a great song, amazingly well-done.  First of all, I love Tyler’s voice, for the same reason I like good hardcore, emo, screamo, punk, etc.  I just really enjoy raw vocals.  From a critic’s perspective, I’d say this has to do with the passion reflected in the voice.  Whatever.  I just really like it.  On top of Tyler’s enjoyable performance, though, you have the video.  If you haven’t seen this video, watch it.  It’s like a Meatloaf video, only (somehow) more surreal, and with flying choirboys with glowing eyes.  And dancing ninjas.  Really.  Ninjas.  Dancing.

 You have to be a special kind of cool to have dancing ninjas.

 By the way, Guilty pleasure 1(a): the Dan Band cover.  First off, in spite of the random obscenity, it actually is a pretty well-done cover.  But mostly, I don’t know why but there’s just something really very amusing (on an I-wish-I-was-still-13 kind of level) about semi-random and totally inappropriate swearing (and yes… that’s as opposed to “appropriate swearing”).